With a risk of spoiling this for you, I want to start out with what might sound like a weird statement:
You already have everything you want!
Why would anyone suggest such a thing? I hope that by the end of this article you will see it makes more sense than meets the eye.
When we feel that we are not getting what we are wanting, most of the time it’s actually because we are having some confusion about ‘Who is it that is doing the wanting?’. That confusion is very common in Western society because we tend to spend a lot of time using our rational conscious minds. As we do that, it becomes very easy to identify ourselves with our thoughts, to think that what we think is who we are. So if our thoughts tell us ‘I want a better house, a better job, a better partner’, it must be that this is what we are wanting. But…
Just because we THINK we want something, it doesn’t mean it’s actually what we want!
The reason why that’s so is because we are NOT our conscious minds! We are much greater than that! I will not go into a discussion of the question of ‘Who are we then?’, cause I am not really sure I or anyone for that matter can answer properly. What I will say though is that when it comes to our desires, the subconscious plays a much bigger role than the conscious mind. It’s going to make sure that we go towards what brings us pleasure and away from what brings us pain, without or without the involvement and permission of our reason. That’s actually essential to our survival and is a good thing.
Whenever we experience a difference between what our conscious and subconscious minds want, however, that can create tension in itself.
So what do we do about that? It helps to learn to distinguish between explicit and implicit desires. Explicit desires are those that are easily available to our conscious mind (eg. ‘I want a better house, a better job, a better partner’). Implicit desires, however, require a deeper inquiry into our subconscious motivations and an honest answer to the question:
‘What is it that this current situation is giving me that’s actually something important to me that I am refusing to acknowledge?’
For example, you might want a better partner, but if you would move towards that, you might lose your comfort or face an old fear of being alone or losing someone that you love. That means that implicitly, subconsciously, you desire safety. Until you acknowledge that in shaping your view of your situation and subsequent actions, you will keep feeling that you are not getting what you are wanting.
In order to get our conscious and subconscious minds to sync, we need to look into and welcome both our explicit and implicit desires into our awareness. Through that, it’s much easier to find a way that serves both perspectives. Oftentimes, it’s enough to just hear the two and we end up finding our peace with what we already have. Or, if the conscious mind really insists that we need to change things, find another way to give the subconscious what it desires by answering the question:
What’s another way in which you can get that implicit desire met?
For example, if you want safety, you can make yourself feel safer by having a discussion about opening the relationship with your present partner. Or making sure that other aspects of your life are more stable so you have the energy to go through that breakup. Or moving in with a close friend to have someone to talk to until you get used to the idea of being on your own. Or even better, if you are into spirituality, starting a meditation practice with a focus on cultivating safety within. There’s lots of options to consider once you know what’s the essence of your desire.
So what to do next? I’d like to suggest you to play with the idea that you already have everything you want and see what you find! It’s a completely different Universe, I promise. And if you want to address a specific area of tension in your current reality through reviewing your explicit and implicit desires, go ahead and do that by answering the questions:
– What is it that I want here?
– What is the current situation giving me that is important to me?
– How can I make sure that both of those desires are met?
And last but not least:
Just because you already have everything you want, doesn’t mean that you can’t want more!
After all, amongst other things, life is also a wonderful game of weaving what we already have with what we are moving towards.
About The Paradise Vlog
I believe we already are in paradise, regardless of where we are and what’s going on in our lives. I believe life is a journey towards becoming aware of this and enjoying as much of it as we can in the limited amount of time we have here. The ‘The Paradise Vlog’ youtube channel is the space where I share my process of shedding patterns and beliefs that obstruct our view in order to replace them with presence, joy and wonder. It’s also my invitation to you – an invitation to connect and journey together in creative ways, as we help each other see through to the greatest expression of ourselves. I also love creating spaces for growth-oriented people to connect to their soul power and life purpose. I do that in the form of coaching, shamanic work and workshops. Reach out if you feel curious to explore these topics with me.