They say that if you are not a little ashamed of the first version of your creation, you’ve waited too long to put it out there.
I didn’t wait too long for posting the first episodes of what is now my ‘Lessons in Paradise’ Vlog on facebook. I haven’t been waiting for too long for following up with the release of this blog either. Truth is when I got started with all this I didn’t really know what I was doing. My friend Jem told me I should start making videos because he liked how I talk and some people don’t like to read long posts on facebook. The thought of appearing on video was scary – stories started marching in my mind:
“I am not that good at public speaking”, “I don’t look good on video”, “What will my friends think?”, “What am I, some kind of superstar or something?”, “Why would people watch my videos, do I have something to say really?”, “Fun to talk about it, but I can’t imagine actually doing it”.
In a couple of days when I was about to write another long post, I thanked all the stories for their service and made a long video instead. I was hunched on the floor in a weird spot on my balcony for no specific reason and I sat in the scorching Bali sun for a good hour. I did 20+ takes of my first video until I got to something that didn’t make me feel like I want to hide in the forest behind me and never see people again. The lighting was terrible, I did a lot of ums and talked too much (which I still do by the way), but I shared it. My friends and family continued to love me somehow 😀 They even liked it and shared it and commented and showed me not only their support, but also that I did have something valuable to say that resonated with them.
I started putting out video after video, talking about anger, fear, love, power, relationships, durians, ants, chairs, nothingness, control, courage, betrayal, self-worth, consciousness, plants, pleasure, shamanism, circling…
Basically I was just talking about all the weird shit I was going through in Bali and the insights that followed it. I started hearing back and reconnecting over meaningful topics with so many dear friends and people I hadn’t heard from in ages. I was posting a new video every day and spending most of my time discussing and answering messages, while hunting for wild Balinese wifi & that magic moment when a video finally uploads on facebook on the 12134th attempt. Then I decided to slow down and post one every week or two – I had so much to say, but I also wanted to allow space for other things in my life.
One day my friend Dobri told me to make a youtube channel. It took me some time to get around to it, but eventually I found myself sitting in front of my Mac, excited to get it going. My excitement went down the moment I realised I had to give a name to the channel. At some point I had tried to come up with a name for the video series – at first even I couldn’t remember if it was “Lessons Learned in Paradise” or “Lessons in Paradise” or “Learning in Paradise” and kept messing it up.
Even if I’d assume people (incl. myself) would somehow remember the name ‘Lessons in Paradise’ eventually, in my mind paradise was associated with Bali. What if I’d move out of Bali at some point, out of paradise, and still want to do the vlog? Grrrr.
Then it hit me. The name was perfect especially for when I’d move out of Bali! How come? I realised that most of my discussions with friends and everything I’d ever shared online in written or video form stood for something very important to me:
I believe we already are in paradise, regardless of where we are and what’s going on in our lives at this very moment. I believe life is a journey of becoming more and more aware of this and learning to fully appreciate, enjoy and LIVE this incredible gift we are given in the limited amount of time we have here.
I already knew I was here on this Earth to create spaces to connect with ourselves, each other and nature; spaces to share the process of peeling off the patterns and beliefs that obstruct our view in order to replace them with presence, love, joy and wonder at the magnificence of life. Thus the ‘Lessons in Paradise’ Vlog turned out to be my way of starting an online discussion where we help each other in our journeys to our highest expression. However, it was just the beginning.
I wanted a central space to expand from there with all the other stuff I’ve been working on that goes way beyond online and beyond Zori saying things and people talking about it in the comments. So I held my breath and marched into WordPress on my own in full armour, prepared to face the wild dragon friends had been warning me about. I felt a little ridiculous and confused at the little puppy that jumped out of the bush instead and made everything so nice and easy. I still feel he might be just the dragon in disguise that hasn’t revealed himself yet, but so far so good. The Paradise Blog is out at zoritomova.com and I’m super excited to share it with you! In it you will find:
1. Video: All the episodes of ‘Lessons in Paradise’;
3. More awesome stuff: opportunities to connect deeper and play with me and likeminded people through different projects I’ve been working on in the last months. You will hear more about this soon.
Last but not least, thank you for being part of my journey. I’m super grateful you found your way to my blog and look forward to connecting more with you.
Subscribe to my newsletter in the right sidebar and to my youtube channel. Tell me what you think about what I shared – drop me a line or comment wherever you feel like. Support me with a donation because you really enjoyed something you watched or read. There’s a gazillion other ways I can only begin to imagine for us to help one another. Just reach out. Let’s connect and explore them.