There’s a narrative running down the stream of consciousness and culture we are swimming in in the Western civilised world. That narrative defines how success looks like by upholding images of people who ‘made it’ that we can all aspire to (with lots of money, impact, fame etc). It also defines the way to move towards that success. We need to keep our eyes on the target and go through specific steps. There’s danger all around and we’ll never get there unless we are focused, driven and know exactly what we are doing on each turn.
I believe that narrative is extremely biased and dysfunctional. It is so not because it’s bad to be goal-oriented, focused and proactive in creating changes in the outer world (the masculine). It is because as a collective we have taken it to an extreme, while ignoring the other part of the spectrum. That other part is about connection to the core, multiplicity, receptivity and creating changes in the world that is within us (the feminine). And just like anything else in life, it’s OK to swing out of centre for some time, but we can’t hang out there forever. At some point, forces kick in that start pulling us back towards the centre.
This is what I believe is happening in our collective right now. Due to our biological & hormonal predisposition, women tend to sense and express this easier. To us, oftentimes the extreme masculine feels like a bigger departure from our centre than it does for men. However, men are affected too, because the extreme masculine is not the same as the mature masculine that comes with honouring of the feminine within it.
The side effects of the constant pressure to achieve, to reach our goals, to live up to that predefined standard of success are becoming more obvious and detrimental. This is a blessing in disguise – it’s pointing us towards exploring the almost forgotten art of feminine creation. It is only through that that we can return back to a balanced place where the feminine and the masculine work together in harmony within and around us.
So how do we reconnect to the feminine way of creation?
1. Acknowledge its importance
Just like any important journey we embark on in life, we need motivation to move towards the feminine end of the spectrum. We can speak about the powers of the feminine to create any outcome we desire in our business, finance, relationships, health etc. But that would be the masculine way! The truth is that when we’ve pushed ourselves way too far out of our centre, we will KNOW somewhere deep within us that we need to look in the other direction. It is not our goals and reason, but our bodies, emotions and our intuition that guide us back to the feminine.
2. Connect to the core essence
A major difference between the feminine and the masculine way is the placement of our centre of gravity, defined by our attention. Our attention can be directed outside, focusing on form or within, focusing on essence. Whereas form is defined by its outer features and details, essence is defined by the experience of something and what its entirety represents for YOU. For example:
- I want a chocolate (form) – sweetness (essence)
- I want a partner who is… (form) – love (essence)
- I want to have a coaching business (form) – connection (essence)
- I want money (form) – safety (essence)
Whereas form can be clearly defined pointed to, essence is unknown and unknowable. For example, money can be measured and compared, perceived safety cannot. What does safety even mean anyway? How does that feel in the body? This ability to see through form, down to the core is even more important when it comes to the way we connect with ourselves. Feminine creation begins at the centre of our own being, from our very essence that in many cultures is believed to rest in our bellies. As we nurture that connection with the mysterious beauty of our own essence, the way we create things in the world changes. It’s no longer a movement towards a specific goal outside of us – it’s a growth from within, an expression of our essence in multiple forms and directions.
3. Embrace multiplicity
Whereas the masculine says ‘I want to hunt down this animal over there.’ the feminine says ‘I want me and my family to be healthy and well’. They go hand in hand and need each other. The value that the feminine brings to this partnership is that when we begin with the essence, we have options and an abundance of forms to choose from. The masculine then can focus on the big catch (the deer), while the feminine can bring fruits, nuts and mushrooms. In the same way, when it comes to creation, the feminine goes in many directions, picking and reaching for what she KNOWS and FEELS to be nutritious. “Just like a tree, she branches out. It’s not that she decides to grow a branch that reaches that sunny spot over there. She senses there is some sunshine on her bark right over HERE and follows that pleasure to grow a branch that way and find some more of it.”
If we take the masculine as a benchmark of success, the feminine can look slow and random. The masculine makes a business through focus on one use-case that will scale and bring in a lot of cash and impact (the deer). The feminine follows her intuition to the places where nutrition is during that time of the year. She might start with painting, then find she’s attracted to dance, then photography, then writing, then back to painting, then creating a workshop, back to photography. Oh, and how about combining photography and movement and painting? Back to writing, etc. Things grow out of the feminine and they find mysterious ways to work together. They bring multiple cash flow streams through a web of creation and relationships that evolves in the process.
4. Open up to receive
As the feminine grows her connections further and deeper into the web of life, juicy stuff starts flowing back her way. Although a woman can set a goal, go after it and achieve it, the feminine inside of her has a completely different approach. She turns receiving into an art, moving from:
- the head (‘It’s nice to have this juice’) to
- the heart (‘I appreciate this liquid tasty magic!’) to
- the belly (‘I can feel deep down in my body the joy of drinking this, I can FEEL the sunshine contained inside spreading all over my body, making love to me.’)
In its most extreme cases, receiving can literally feel like an orgasm to a woman, whether it’s about food, intimate partnerships, business opportunities or projects. The feminine web of creation grows through the pleasure of receiving – when expressed, that turns into even more beautiful relationships, opportunities, and creations. It does so in mysterious ways that she couldn’t have known to ask for before they came along.
5. Trust intuition
One of the most important aspects of the feminine is her mystery. The masculine has answers and strategies and steps. The feminine releases control of the specific in favour of the guidance system of intuition. She knows her creation begins from within, so she learns how to listen closely to that within. The tricky bit is that the within does not speak in precise terms – it speaks in sensations, feelings and dream images. These guys oftentimes defy any attempt to box them into the words of conscious cognition. Although that can be confusing and even incomprehensible at first, over time it connects the feminine to her power. It is the power of having a relationship of trust to mystery and the unknown. She learns to play within it and hold multiple interpretations of inner and outer reality that are ALL true at the same time. She learns to weave her own meaning rather than just do with the one coming from outside and trust her gut. Her growing trust opens her energy body to even greater flow of giving and receiving with the web of life in mysterious and beautiful ways that inspire and uplift.
The movement towards and into the feminine way of creation oftentimes begins with a rejection of the masculine and there’s a reason for that. The energetic journey back to centre is rarely a fluid movement. It moves in jumps, flipping from one extreme to another, jumping around the centre as it gets closer to it. It’s a process of finding balance and integration between the feminine and the masculine, rather than replacing the masculine extreme with a feminine one! Our bodies know that and guide us down the way.
My purpose with this article has been to open up some space for exploration into what I’ve found for myself and my friends and clients to be the less familiar realms of the feminine. With it, my hope and invitation for you is to give yourself some space to sit with the question of:
“How can I allow more of the feminine way of creation into my life?”
This is not really about having a clear answer. It’s about welcoming the feminine and giving her your love and care, trusting her to do her job when invited.
About The Paradise Vlog
I believe we already are in paradise, regardless of where we are and what’s going on in our lives. I believe life is a journey towards becoming aware of this and enjoying as much of it as we can in the limited amount of time we have here. The ‘The Paradise Vlog’ youtube channel is the space where I share my process of shedding patterns and beliefs that obstruct our view in order to replace them with presence, joy and wonder. It’s also my invitation to you – an invitation to connect and journey together in creative ways, as we help each other see through to the greatest expression of ourselves. I also love creating spaces for growth-oriented people to connect to their soul power and life purpose. I do that in the form of coaching, shamanic work and workshops. Reach out if you feel curious to explore these topics with me.